


Malfunction

by HiddenViolet



Series: Batfamily is all you need [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe, Batfamily (DCU), Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mostly Gen, ed is part of the batfamily, harmless riddler, the bruce/ed is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26012374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenViolet/pseuds/HiddenViolet
Summary: Dick goes off to "fight" the riddler and discovers that things haven't gone to plan.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Edward Nygma, Dick Grayson & Edward Nygma, Edward Nygma & Damian Wayne, Edward Nygma/Bruce Wayne
Series: Batfamily is all you need [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062839
Comments: 16
Kudos: 66





	Malfunction

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what AU this is.

Dick Grayson ducked towards the warehouse, grinning as he went. He couldn’t believe his luck with this evening’s assignments. The others were all tackling the more annoying/disgusting villains that made up the Rogues Gallery. Jason was off dealing with Ivy’s latest excursion; Tim was dealing with some sort of ooze Clayface was leaving behind, and Damian had the dubious pleasure of working with Batman to track Killer Croc through the sewers. While he got to deal with the Riddler.

Dick entered the warehouse, where the Riddler had set up his most recent trap. True to his nature, he had left a baiting riddle where they would find it. He wandered down the halls, not really feeling a sense of urgency. As he approached the room with the trap in it (according to the riddle), he was alarmed to hear crying.

Dick immediately took off into a run, fearing the worst. A trap that finally went horribly wrong and killed someone. A confrontational hostage who decided that being kidnapped was not going to happen and got violent with Ed. A fire breaking out and Ed, not the best under any kind of stress, was panicking instead of putting it out and was likely going to be burned if someone didn’t save him.

He entered the room and immediately began to look around for possible crises. There weren’t any immediately apparent, no smoke or screams. So, he cautiously approached the small group of people standing next to what was likely the control of the trap.

Dick could see that it was Ed himself crying, with his hostages, a man in a suit, a man in jeans and a t-shirt, and a woman in a sweater were comforting him. It wasn’t unheard of for Ed to make friends with his hostages, but he wasn’t usually crying during one of his schemes.

“These things happen, dear. It isn’t your fault. I bet it would have worked wonderfully. Your traps always do. This is just a one-time thing” The woman in the sweater was hugging him gently.

“Yeah, just need to put out little traps next time so that your other guests don’t chew the wires. Nothing more to it. You couldn’t have known that they would have a taste for electrical wire.” The man in the suit said.

“But I worked so hard, and I went out and got the three of you as hostages. All of that for nothing. It’s just so embarrassing.” Ed was wiping ineffectually at the tears in his eyes.

“Oh well, I’m sure next time will go better. You can even take me hostage, again. I don’t mind. Don’t have much going on lately anyway, not since I retired. Nice to have some company, and then I can see one of your famous traps in action.” This came from the man in a tee and jeans. It also seemed to do the trick as Ed’s tears began to slow.

“You would?”

This prompted the woman to jump in. “Of course, we would. We’ll agree on a date and time, and you can try again. Nothing lost, and I bet your next trap would be even better than this one was supposed to be.”

Dick decided this would be the prime time to jump in, especially since he could schedule it so that he could take the job. “How about two weeks from today, at 6 pm?”

The four of them turned to look at him, and then each of the hostages nodded.

“Works for me.”

“Me too.”

“I’m game.”

Ed wiped at his eyes and gave them a watery smile. The woman seemed to know best what they should do. She patted him lightly on the back. “We’ll just leave you and your friend alone then. We’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Alright?”

Ed nodded, and the three left the warehouse. Dick opened his arms, and Ed fell into them. He buried his face in Dick’s chest, sighing softly.

“Had a rough night, honey?”

Ed nodded into his chest. “Rats chewed the wires on my trap, so it didn’t have any power. Ruined the whole night.”

“Aw, I’m sorry. Do you want to come back to the house with me? I bet Alfred would make some of that hot chocolate you like so much. Have a lie down on the couch and watch a little TV. Snuggle on the couch with the demon spawn.”

“You should be nicer to Damian. That sounds lovely, but aren’t you guys working tonight?”

“Yeah, but they shouldn’t be too long, hopefully. Besides, Damian can sleep curled up to you just as well as he can other places. I’m sure that Bruce wouldn’t mind a little evening company either.” Dick grinned salaciously at Ed, and Ed blushed.

“Dick!” he whined softly. “Don’t say things like that. You know it embarrasses me.”

“That’s why I do it, little mummy.”

Ed turned even redder. “I’m not your mummy.”

“Well, you’re definitely Damian’s mummy, and I’m Damian’s big brother, that makes you my mummy, even if you’re tiny and adorable. Come on, sweetheart. Let me take you home.”

Ed sighed but followed him anyway. Dick led him to where he had parked his motorcycle and handed Ed the spare helmet, he carried with him. Ed made a face at the thought of riding the bike.

“I’ll be careful. I know you get anxious. Get on Mummy, I’ll take you home to Daddy so he can have you all night.”

“Dick!”

Dick just grinned at him and turned on his communicator.

“Al, I’m coming home, and I’m bringing the little Mummy with us.”

Dick could almost hear Alfred’s exasperation and the nicknames. “Is everything alright, Master Dick? It’s unusual for Edward to stay over on weeknights. He normally likes to be getting on with his work.”

“Yeah, he’s okay. Just had a bit of a power problem. He’s a little out of sorts.”

“Ah, I understand. I’m sure that no one will object to his company. Make your way home, and I’ll make up that hot chocolate he has such a fondness for.”

“Thanks, Al. We should only be a few minutes.” Dick switched off the communicator and turned to Ed, still holding the helmet in his hand.

“Put that one and get on behind me. Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall. Let’s go home, we’ll take care of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and Kudos if you liked it. Maybe I'll write more harmless Riddler.


End file.
